The meeting of Middle Georgia Procrastinators will come to order.
And dammit, we've been putting this off for like a month, people.
Ahem.
Can't remember why the delay. Can't remember what else I'd meant to throw out there. Perhaps I've been dizzied by the new iPhone, which is nice but hasn't really worked 100 percent yet and will likely be traded in when allowed for a non-Apple product.
Apple engineer 1: "Ya know, this task can be accomplished in 10 seconds and with three keystrokes."
Apple engineer 2: "Dude, we're Apple. Make that three minutes, one aspiring and 15 keystrokes."
This offering was last added to in mid-April. Time flies when it's 98 degrees every damn day. And this latest version is a few weeks old and not really been updated, except for for clarity.
Our next meeting will go on as scheduled.
ANOTHER FINE MESS
Watch out, Notre Dame and Penn State.
There's an awful lot of friskiness floating around some Rust Belt football programs these days.
We'll be de-sliming ourselves from the Ohio State mess for awhile, courtesy of Terrelle Pryor, Jim Tressell and some ignats with the Buckeyes.
It's really amazing, how quickly hypocrisy can unravel a situation, and deservedly hammer reputations. That annoying part is it's unnecessary.
There are plenty of upper-level athletes out there to make taking gambles moot.
But you get what you - ahem - pay for, and Ohio State is paying.
Cruise east on I-70 and south on 79 to Morgantown, W.Va., and it threatened to be a show destined for the Soap Opera Network or Dateline on ID.
Head coach Bill Stewart reportedly asked the WVU beat writer for the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette to dig up stuff on Dana Holgorsen, Stewart's force-fed offensive coordinator and coach in waiting.
Holgorsen apparently has hydration problems, and there are stories floating around about him floating around Morgantown.
Word was that sommmmmebody within the WVU program is behind some feeding of the media, and word was it was either Stewart or his wife.
Love, honor and obey indeeed.
The insanity lasted for a week, and then Stewart resigned, setting up a Friday night press conference to announce that and the official promotion of Holgorsen.
It's the latest gaffe under athletics director Oliver Luck, who couldn't fire Stewart - fans' delusions of Mountaineer grandeur aside - so he screwed up all hopes of chemistry by shoving Holgorsen in Stewart's face as coordinator and coach in waiting. And then Stewart's insecurity apparently grew a monster head.
Note that Luck spearheaded an absolutely idiotic move of selling beer at WVU football games.
Now, WVU has a frisky fan base on a slow day. But beer?
There are maybe seven major programs where beer at the stadium wouldn't be a massive disaster.
And I doubt BYU is going to do it.
Note that Syracuse, Louisville, South Florida, UConn and Cincy sell beer at the stadiums.
None has a fan base with anywhere near the passion/insanity of WVU fans. Beer at Cincy doesn't worry anybody.
Beer at WVU does.
Apparently 70 percent of the 300 comments offered during a 30-day period were opposed. So WVU mismanagement showed confidence in its ability to get things right - hah - and ignored that.
Oh, this is not good. But fans are already starting to drink a little bit more as they watch the absurdities going on with their program.
And at the rate things are going, Luck might be in the stands buying a cold one as an unemployed athletics director.
LOUGHDMOUTHINGS
If Miami won, it was only because of LeBron and D-Wade and Bosh, and playing an inferior team.
They lost, so we must find the stake for Eric Spoelstra. Gee, how'd he screw that up? ...
From the "It's often not the government, it's often people in charge" Dept., courtesy of USA Today (awhile back).:
"One dollar buys very little these days, but that could be how much David Einhorn pays to gain control of the New York Mets.
"Einhorn is the hedge fund manager who last month agreed to pay $200 million for a one-third stake in the cash-desperate team, subject to the approval of MLB.
"But Forbes reports there's a potential added wrinkle to the deal. The magazine reports it has learned that if Mets owners Fred Wilpon and Saul Katz don't repay the $200 million to Einhorn within three years he would have the right to obtain a 60% interest in the team for the "strike price" of just $1. Forbes says the agreement isn't final yet.
"UPDATE: The Mets issued this statement about the Forbes story: "Throughout the entire sale process there has been -- and continues to be -- widespread misinformation and sometimes completely baseless and uninformed speculation about the terms of the potential agreement."
Which sure looks like a nifty non-denial denial. "There's a lotta stuff wrong with stories, but we won't say that it's the case with this one."
Then, of course, we have the Dodgers' disaster.
The weekly drama is whether currently temporary owner Frank McCourt will make payroll.
That's not good.
Worth noting is that, according to the LA Times, nine teams are violating MLB's debt limits, and the Dodgers may not be in the most dire circumstances.
Hello, Mets.
Greed, not the government, is the problem.
Wilpon threw money at Bernie Madoff, who Madoff with it. McCourt is proof that most rich people shouldn't be married.
It's a Forrest Gump world: stupid is as stupid does, fancy financial statements or not. ...
Poster child for birth control: Ron Artest, aka Metta World Peace, aka Whatta Friggin Dingbat. …
Three days of televised baseball draftness?
Oy.
Analysis is more iffy than in any other draft. Why? We're looking at 1,500 players, and a massive cross-selection of high schoolers and college kids.
More than football and basketball, the spectrum from where it's guessed a kid will go and where he goes is mammoth.
But thankfully, we don't have Chris Berman to cringe at. ...
What I learned: The NCAA doesn't have a rule regarding alcohol sales on campus sites, but it does prohibit the sales during NCAA championship events.
Hmmm.
And only about three dozen football stadiums sell beer. ...
To be addressed: the sadness of the new stadium at Omaha having not an ounce of the personality of old Rosenblatt, and why you should go to the College World Series if at all possible. ...
Steve Schrader of the Detroit Free Press knows how LeBron James can get a championship trophy: switch to hockey.
"Nobody complains if you play only three good periods."
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