Dear Lord,
It was invented back in the 1800s, somewhere in the Northeast, I think.
It started taking form and inspiring attention back in the 1920s and 30s, and picked up steam in the 70s.
But on behalf of a large number of the species, regardless of dates and history, thank you for college football. And yes, those who agree with me should drop a little bit extra in the collection plate.
Sincerely,
An exhausted bystander.
How many wild games did we have Saturday? I hate to say too many, but it's not like our nation's residents are in the best health (physical or mental), so hearts can be pushed too far.
But, wow.
Toledo scared the sweatervests off of - oh, wait, that's outdated smartass - Ohio State in losing 27-22. The Buckeyes needed a last-minute pick to avoid their first loss to an in-state program since 1921.
Army had eight turnovers - those two words get Charlie Weis excited - and ran 84 plays - 77 on the ground - for 446 yards and lost 23-20 to San Diego State.
The Auburn-Mississippi State was a yell-at-the-TV affair, a raucous roller coaster that ended with the ball on the 12th-blade-from-the-goalline. And Gene "no, I ain't tellin you my lottery numbers" Chizik's team yanked out yet another tight one.
Meanwhile, memo to Dan Mullen: You had three minutes to go 67 yards with a superb dual-threat quarterback and you stuck to the ground and ran out of time. A pass-run option on first down at the 13 with with 32 seconds left is a thought (one my TV heard me yell).
Pittsburgh terrified its faithful by barely holding off I-AA Maine 35-29 at home, giving up 334 passing yards. The Panthers went to a freshman quarterback in relief, never a good sign. And Maine sacked Pitt QBs seven times. Ouch.
Down the interstate, West Virginia was losing 12-10 to Norfolk State. Norfolk State. Of the Mid-Eastern Athletic Conference. Somewhere, Bill Stewart was convulsing in laughter. Then the second half started, and WVU - perhaps in fear of being mistaken for a couch by antsy fans - put 45 up in the second half.
Clemson - yes, Clemson - had to score in the fourth quarter to beat Wofford - yes, Wofford - at home 35-27. Wofford has all of 1,500 students. Dabo Swinney had to go sit on some ice after that one, his seat warming up.
East Carolina offered its latest reminder that's worth of inclusion in a BCS conference, scaring the bejeebers out of Virginia Tech before losing 17-10.
We knew coaching at Minnesota wasn't good for one's health, but jeez, head coach Jerry Kill had a seizure near the end of the 28-21 loss to New Mexico State.
He's doing well, but folks should be reminded that humans are involved in this game, and while we joke about health sometimes, health is no joke.
And I'm sure there are some classy message board posts in Gopherville, since fans are known for their mental acumen and intellectual integrity.
Syracuse's 2-0 is shaky, especially after needing to score in the fourth to beat I-AA Rhode Island.
Memo to world: There is loads of talent out there, so really, honestly, stopped being shocked when a I-AA challenges a mediocre I-A program.
Sadly, BYU couldn't pull off the upset of the Greedhorns from Texas, the program screwing up college sports. The Cougars struggled in the heat to finish, and the Greedhorns took the lead early in the fourth and held on to win 17-16.
UConn and Vanderbilt had a fun game, for those interested. Vandy got a 31-yard field goal with 2:56 left to win 24-21, very much a quality win for the 2-0 Commodores. It's their first winning streak and 2-0 start since 2008, and the last first-year coach to start 2-0 at Vandy was in 1975.
Former Perry standout Casey Hayward took an interception 50 yards for a touchdown to tie it in the fourth quarter.
Finally, it's not as if there's much to say about Notre Dame-Michigan.
Other than: Holy &%$@, what a @#$!&$ ending.
Desmond Robinson is one fortunate untied-shoelaces munchkin, his late heaves going to teammates he probably couldn't see.
Apparently, the contact lenses of both defenses got cloudy in the final minute. And Brady Hoke must be wearing special britches to walk in with a set that big, which one must have to call a fade route with 10 seconds left.
I liked going for something rather than automatically settling for a field goal, but I was letting Robinson scramble and throw or run and take a knee and call timeout for the field goal.
The decision was sound, the play-call gutsy.
Here you go: There were 37 plays in the fourth quarter, Robinson accounted for 226 yards in the fourth quarter (7-10-1 for 202 passing and 6-24 rushing), and there were three lead changes in the final 2:16.
And the teams combined for 965 yards.
Here's hoping defenders were able to at least stop their cars at red lights, since there was no other stopping going on.
Nevertheless, Saturday was like the perfect meal: a variety of flavors and courses, and you were full and wanting more and exhausted once it was over.
KICKIN IT OFF
NFL quickies:
Some are picking Atlanta and Pittsburgh to reach the Super Bowl.
As of 3:15 p.m., Atlanta is down 30-6 to Chicago and Pittsburgh trails Baltimore 32-7.
First, they must reach at least average here in this first week before worrying about much else. But no, no idea what the hell is going on. Then again, nobody gets a ring for September. ...
Yes, Peyton Manning is of that big an impact that losing him for most of the season affects every aspect of the team, and if you think otherwise, you should have stopped playing football without a helmet years ago.
Granted, losing 34-0 to Houston with a quarter and a half left is a bit extreme. ...
Ah, an NFL Sunday and I've yet to hear the name of that waffling ex QB of the Packers and Vikings. Unfortunately, can't say the same for Chris Berman.
PEACH STATERS
The quickies:
Georgia went 1-1 on Saturday. The Bulldogs lost to South Carolina but beat themselves. Still, it's a step forward, certainly compared to the Boise State game.
Conversely, Stephen Garcia was very mediocre and Georgia couldn't take advantage. Nevertheless, you give up 21 points on turnovers - which means the defense gets blamed for only 24? - you'll lose.
More later on Aaron Murray needing to run more, defense still shaky fundamentally, gambles are gambles for a reason, going for it with a depth-free offensive line.
At least they were back to adult uniforms.
Tech's 49-21 win over Middle Tennessee was a little more impressive than on the surface.
For one, it was on the road against a hungry mid-major itching to beat a team that's been on national TV in the past five years. For another, it was two straight games of - sit down, Tekkies - passing the ball rather than just passing people in the tunnel.
Which means, A) Paul Johnson has realized - and will never admit - that his team will have to be somewhat balanced for him to get his point across about his offensive philosophy; B) Paul Johnson is playing a guessing game with ACC opponents and making them think he's passing more, which of course, will go by the wayside the first three consecutive possessions during which he reverts to the norm.
It's underrated for a so-so BCS team to stay in control of an upstart. Ask the ones who lost Saturday. If the Jackets continue to stay balanced, this just may be a surprising year on The Flats.
Georgia Southern, as has been noted, is living in the past. Like, when the Eagles were a I-AA power.
They've outscored their first two opponents 93-38, although one was a Division II school. Still, again, taking care of business soundly is underrated.
LOUGHDMOUTHINGS
Random Unrelated Thought: Sears' circular has the Kardashians on one cover. OK, won't be shopping at Sears for awhile. If they put Kate or any of the 8 on a cover, I may have to 'water' one of their doors one night. ...
It didn’t take long to be worn out from the anniversary coverage, but if the national anthem by Jim Cornelison in Chicago didn’t alternately give you goose bumps and teary eyes, get somebody to call the EMS folks.
Teams should find a copy of it and use his version when they don't have a singer or band to do the anthem. Goodness, you're ready to go tackle a redwood. ...
Our tip of the day, such as it is:
If you like checking out the major websites for play-by-play and real-time info, avoid CBSSports.com like the plague. That site has been remarkably inaccurate for years, wrong and slow.
Example is the Auburn-MSU play by play, just looking at the last drive: CBS has the drive starting at 3:01, nine seconds off. And from there, half of the yardlines are wrong, as they are on the previous possession. No need to look at more.
And Gametracker is a farce as well, on any level. I've seen them put scores down that never happened.
So if you're not on the actual host school's play-by-play, go to ESPN.com. ...
Yahoosports.com's Tom Dienhart says Mark Richt is done. Yahoo colleague David Fox thinks there are warmer backsides on UCLA's Rick Neuheisel and Clemson's Dabo Swinney. ...
Speaking of misguided decisions to leave one conference for another, let me introduce you to Boston College.
BC was so-so in the Big East, and has been so-so in the ACC. Now the Eagles are so-what after getting pummeled 30-3 by Central "Please somebody take us seriously; we're in Florida!" Florida. ...
Anybody heard anything about the NBA talks?
Testing, 1,2,3, is this mic on? ...
A zinger from Reggie Hayes of the Fort Wayne (Ind.) News-Sentinel:
"NFL commissioner Roger Goodell told Tennessee Titans receiver Kenny Britt that he will not be punished for a series of arrests over the summer. This is apparently part of the NFL's new campaign after labor peace: "What Happens in the Lockout Stays in the Lockout.”
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