Dogs and Roomie a month after The Altercation: good, but not normal, and normal was awesome

            A month after The Altercation – God, a month? - it’s mostly good, and became mostly good after about a week.

            Not me. On the inside. Better, yes, but not necessarily all that good.

            It was Jan. 22 when the two dogs who had never growled at each other suddenly were beating the crap out of each other, and of me, in the middle trying to break it up.

            Vander, the rescue former-bait-dog pit mix who doesn’t growl or do anything, got the worst of it from Coop, the hound mix who more than anything is just a licker. The evil who fight dogs, well, they pretty much eliminate most of the teeth of the bait dog, the sparring partner, so as not to wound the fighter. So Vander’s face was pretty scarred, and Coop had basically no visible wounds.

            Vander needed to have some of the wounds cleaned regularly with peroxide and then have an ointment put on. If you’ve ever tried to medicate in any form or fashion a dog, you know it’s not a one-person gig. Especially with ears. Pits are prone to yeast infection in their ears, and Vander’s no different. Trying to get the special drops in his ear was a major struggle I lost. But I’d still get some of it in by wetting up an old t-shirt and rubbing it around and in his ears, or I’d hide the bottle – he’d almost sprint when he saw near me – in a t-shirt and try to squirt some in.

"Where the hell is my football?"

            Regardless, I’d get put my fingers in an old t-shirt and dig down into his ears a little and clean away, always getting a little something out of there. He never flinched.

            Alas, he had an ear infection, and speculation is that somehow that led to the altercation. I dance around that a little, mostly because I feel blame, but you can’t really see an infection down in the ear, and Vander never, ever, no matter how much I dug in his ears or anything, flinched or indicated any discomfort. People say dogs hide pain, but if you hit something that hurts, they’re gonna react.

            I’m dancing around it, because of a feeling of responsibility. For awhile, I’ve intended to take Vander to a vet and get a little help with putting some eardrops in, where he can’t run and neither of us will bounce off a table or pull muscles. So I’m assuming that’s what led to the ear infection, and maybe the altercation.

            *Sigh*.

            Vander actually seems a little more affectionate than before, licking my face substantially more. Actually, any licking more than one or two swipes was substantially more. He’s bouncy and puppy-like all over again, 9 going on 4.

            Coop was back to normal pretty quick.

            They were kept “apart” before re-integration, as we waited for Vander go get better. The superb news was he progressed, as per Dr. x Hilliard of the Houston Veternary Clinic – what group of remarkably friendly and caring folks, who asked me in both of my trips how I was doing, what with my cuts and my demeanor – faster than normal, physically and mentally. Vander’s two follow-ups were short and sweet and good.

            Upon Vander getting back to normal, the re-integration process was set.

            After about two days, they were always together, albeit one in a crate and one night. But they were face to face, walked by each other, etc. Then I got to the point with the big boxes the gates I have came in where I could block off the opening to the living room, and thus let them both be “free” but still apart. They could see and hear and smell each other, but not be close.

            Trainers Jakarri and Eboni from Jakarri’s Canine Charm School in Peach County came up, with Regenia from Critical Care from Animal Angels, for a test run. One problem: dogs love company, and Vander and Coop were no exception. They were just amped, amped, amped. And when Vander gets the impression he’s going for a walk, he’s hysterically funny in loudly expressing his tremendous joy at this plan. We could walk five times a day, and he’d still react like we hadn’t been out of the house since Christmas.

"I know I heard a squirrell."

            Jakarri walked Vander and Eboni Coop while I walked behind to watch. It was a disciplined, with-purpose walk with short leashes. Coop was, as expected, fine. Vander was high energy the whole time, mostly adjusting to the different style of the walk. They were near each other, but not quite to the point of touching or anything, and all was fine, no real anxiety. Vander kind of ignored Coop because, bygollydammit, we wuz on a walk.

            A step forward.

            Next time, it was just Regenia and me, in the dining room, each one on a leash. Again, they were both jazzed to have company. Vander was, well, eager to express himself in a humping way. His ears bent back and his tail wagged, differently than the good wag, and he’d move toward Coop, who got increasingly tentative and wanted no part.

            So there was something there to watch. No, they’re not ready to be unleashed, but the aggression was more horny than angry. A step forward, albeit not a huge one.

            Next time, it was Regenia and Melissa, one of her rescue teammates.

            With a stake in Vander as a CCAA alum, both were happy to see Vander’s face healing so much, and he was happy to see people, so there was some energy when they arrived. To the side, in the living room, was Coop, not really getting any attention. Suddenly, Coop went up and his paws knocked over the blockade – I don’t think I’d put the garbage can up against it – and he suddenly burst into the dining room.

            And Vander went after him, not in a good way, the tussle moving into the crate and my head and heart fixing to explode while we extracted them one by one. Regenia gave Vander an earful and forcibly put him outside, scolding him the whole time, and I calmed Coop. Nobody was hurt – I re-stressed one shoulder and now the other one was sore, and my spirits hit the ground again because the bad feeling that never left was growing again.

            The three of us went outside with Vander, who remained happily amped, what with company and the belief that a walk was in the offing. He kept popping up to hug me, I wasn’t in the mood to be hugged by him, because those 5-10 seconds brought some devastation into the picture.

            We talked, I went back in to be with Coop, who was in the crate alone, so he was probably thinking he did something wrong. I took blame for not paying attention to him while they focused on Vander and for not stabilizing the blockade, told it wasn’t my fault or the dogs’ fault.

            Well, no, I overlooked two parts of the situation, and now we took two big steps back. The conversation outside turned to the very strong possibility that something was triggered in Vander and despite their normal demeanor under the somebody’s-in-a-crate situation, it hadn’t been untriggered.

            Next time Melissa and Regenia came up, we walked, Regenia with Vander and him wearing a prod collar, with the kinda of spikes. It’s not dangerous if the dog feels the prodding and acts accordingly. We went maybe a half-mile or so in the neighborhood, each of us on the other side of the road. Then there were tests and observations on Vander: eyeing me, eyeing Coop, etc. We changed the walking patterns. A number of little things with body language.

            Vander again was just amped with company and with a walk, but was a little antsy toward me walking Coop and then just me not being near him. They saw some aggressiveness from Vander and still some stress from Coop.

            I believed then and still do that the general excitement and anxiety, almost three weeks of our situation not being like it was, and then of company and of anticipating a walk, it all built up levels of anxiety, and mostly Vander wasn’t quite himself. The tests had become an event, with company, and all this attention.

            So I tried something a few days ago. I put Vander on a chain outside in the back, let him chill and get used to it, and then I brought Coop out on a loop leash.

            Coop was tentative from the start, upon us standing on the porch and him seeing Vander. We walked out slowly, and Vander was a little eager, but nothing aggressive, no growling, more a little anxious and maybe happy than anything. He wasn’t lunging or anything. That was all good

            But Coop’s memory bank was still sharp, and even with me cajoling, he wasn’t sure, and was shaking a little bit. We got within maybe 5 feet, close enough for Coop to keep a distance and me to put Vander a little bit. But Coop’s reaction was a bit of a gut punch.

            I put Coop on a chain, and they were about 20 feet apart at their closest. I sat off to the side, but in the middle, and tried to not acknowledge them. Vander quickly gave up interest, for the most part, moseyed around, then dug himself a little spot to lay down on, looking at Coop off and on, but nothing menacing. Coop was still a little stressed. Sniffed around some, but wouldn’t sit down, and soon enough, started a little wimper to get my attention. His tail went from curled to wagging a little, and then he was distracted by the sounds of a squirrel in a tree.

            Little changed when the experiment ended: Vander was interested, but not aggressive, and Coop was still not ready to get much closer. A general step forward because Vander didn’t show any negative signs.

            I want to do it a few more times, and have Coop on the chain and bring Vander near, inasmuch to discipline Vander much more when he gets antsy – but kind of ignore Coop in the process so Vander doesn’t ready favoritism, which I’m pretty sure he does at times now while remembering who went outside after The Altercation - and to show Coop that Vander is under control and he’s not going anywhere with an attitude.

            Then I’ll hook em up, and maybe do some yard work and ignore them so we’re all together but it’s not an “event”. Same goes for quieter meetings in the dining room when they’re closer together, but after a walk or something so they’re not quite as amped.

            At night, they’re mellow, even though our routine is different. They’re not just roaming around the house and yard, pretty much going their own way. At night, I’m relaxed when they finally pretty much call it a night. But I’m beat, because it’s a shuffle every time I get up and keeping them apart and giving them equal attention but being able to get other stuff done and making sure I don’t leave any opportunity for any problems. They try to keep me in sight, and it’s like they have ac clock on how much I’m “with” the other one – even if I’m just in the same room and not petting or anything – and then there’s a whine or wimper on schedule. And I get a look, one of those faces.

Luv muh dawgs, luv muh dawgs, luv muh dawgs.

            Wears me out even more. I may overread and overthink and overanalyze, but I take seriously what I think dogs see and think and feel, and I gotta keep them in the right frame of mind during this whole thing, that I love ‘em both but there’s going to have to be less spoiling and it’ll be good for all of us.

Luv muh dawgs, luv muh dawgs, luv muh dawgs.

            I really struggle to think we can’t get back to even halfway of what we were – which was about perfect. Even if I have to be in the same room, armed with whatever and paying constant attention for awhile, that’s fine. If there’s discipline involved, fine. I’m getting to almost possibly accepting we won’t be able to be in bed at the same time, and that hurts. There’s little more comforting than two pooches in a deep sleep, snoring ever so slightly. On a given night, I’ll wake up to a different sleepy face eyeing me.

            Now, the door has to be shut, and when somebody gets up, they let me know.

            They know things aren’t normal. When there’s a slight opening in a blockade, they both seem eager to not have the blockade, but not aggressive or tentative. Coop misses licking Vander’s face, and Vander – his big brother expression most of the time notwithstanding – misses having his face licked. They barked at birds and squirrels together, and these big-ass birds that fly and walk around noisily. Oh, they are together against those birds.

            Every different thing that can be tried, I’ll try. The same things with Jakarri and Eboni and Melissa and Regenia, but with some adjustments. Getting a friend for some in-house re-meeting. Having them outside on a tie-out for outside time and having no barrier, and seeing each other. Walks, and even in the back yard on leashes to interact a little bit.

            All while hoping to make each event less of an event. Get Coop back to tail-wagging when they’re close and not crated up. Get Vander back to being more chilled out and basically ignoring Coop except for face-licking and yelling at birds and squirrels.

            I want them to forgive each other, remember how good things were and how much they really did like each other and how Roomie here was always laughing and we were always snuggling, me on the couch with one on each side, all relaxed.

            Because if all of that can’t happen, to a large extent …

And a belated thanks to Melissa, Country, Vince, Brittany, Tiffany, Carolyn, Kit, Kathy, V-Rod, and Betsy for checkin’ in then or later on. All the thoughts are still very much appreciated.

As for Regenia, Melissa, Jakarri, and Eboni, well, ya know.