There is some consternation at the comments of Billy Payne toward Tiger Woods before the Toonament started.
He scolded.
He counseled.
He tweaked.
He judged.
He cajoled.
He verbally spanked.
He was overly dramatic.
Payne didn't say much that most people hadn't thought, although his was a substantially more eloquent version, as, of course, we've come to expect from The Superior Humans Who Are and Love Augusta National and the Toonament.
Sure, it was a diplomatic - and, since this is Augusta and the Masters, I'm legally bound to say "genteel" - way to pile on, and naturally, Payne hit and run, spoke and left and took no questions, safely avoiding a verbal eight-putt.
What's the surprise? The Masters and Augusta is the biggest collection of tight-assed, paranoid close-minded white men with money since the Sean Hannity Think-A-Like contest at the Republican National Convention.
It is what it is, and it's another world at the Masters.
LOUGHDMOUTHINGS
Anything that makes Jerry Jones look like a fool or clown, I'm for.
But - and this is something newsy right here - I gotta agree with a TVconpoop in Dallas who was angry that his station aired some bootlegged footage of Jones drunk at a bar and blasting Bill Parcells and Tim Tebow.
It was pretty bold. And fairly well received. The best line in the whole tirade:
"Our business now, too many times, is a fat kid in a T-shirt in his mother's basement, eating Cheetos and writing his blogs — and we make it news."
A TVconpoop making extreme sense. And, God bless him, he didn't twit his thoughts. ...
So a Toronto Star columnist - marketed by her own paper as being as enjoyable as a lemon squirt inthe eye - is all upset that Erin Andrews is on "Dancing With the Stars."
Wow.
"I turn on the tube this week and see the comely blonde flashing cleavage and thigh on Dancing With The Stars ...
"DWTS is a D-List — or D-cup in the case of Pamela Anderson — piece of entertainment fluff digging ever deeper into the dregs of “celebrity” for contestants. I want to grab Andrews by the shoulders and shout: ‘What are you thinking, woman?!'
"... I'm appalled by the damage she is doing to her profession and her own reputation as a journalist — a term albeit used lightly in the realm of sports broadcasting."
OK, Rosie DiManno got part of it right: ESPN sideline reporter? Serious journalist? And what damage?
Hold on there, girlie. That's not far removed from fretting that somebody on "Hollywood Tonight" didn't three-source a tough story on what's happening with DFACS poster child parents Kate and Jon.
To take sideline reporters - network or your local octogenerian up the road in red and black - so seriously is silly. It's not whether they're good or not, it's how bad they are or aren't. "No, he/she's not bad." It's not about how relevant they are, it's about how much of an interruption or annoyance they are.
That's about it.
"Andrews -- daughter of an investigative TV reporter in Tampa -- is no bimbo, though her sideline features are more popcorn than insightful."
How do you know she's no bimbo if all she serves is popcorn?
So she blasts the job as not being all that serious, and then whines about Andrews being on the show, and then makes the job important again, and somehow matches Andrews' father's career with Andrews simply because they share bloodlines.
"She's made a fool out of herself and a sham of her profession."
Rosie, have you watched TV lately? ...
I pull for Tiger to win because it aggravates the narrow-minded, the hypocrites, the racist, the poster children for birth control.
I pull for Tiger to miss cuts because too much of anybody is just too much, and with TV, anything and anybody quickly becomes the dead horse that's beaten ad nauseousness. ...
Yeah, I just spun around about them TV folks. ...
In two of the most shocking developments in years in college basketball, John Wall and Derrick Favors announced they are leaving their programs after one year for the NBA.
Barely qualifies as news on the slowest of days.
This just in: Brett Favre is indecisive. ...
Write or call your local rep, er, the NCAA and plead with it not to expand the tournament to 96 teams:
The National Collegiate Athletic Association
700 W. Washington Street
P.O. Box 6222
Indianapolis, Indiana 46206-6222
Phone: 317/917-6222
Fax: 317/917-6888
E-mail: pmr@ncaa.org
Four play-ins, OK. But expanding by a third in one year, next year? No, no, no.
We don't need overkill, the NIT remains a viable, money-making tournament - like bowls - and we don't need more whining about more undeserving teams in the tournament. ...
And David Letterman's top 10 signs your team ain't ready for the baseball season:
10. Your spring training begins in June
9. Only thing they tested positive for was cheese fries
8. Outfielders following Justin Bieber on tour
7. Manager spends hour after hour practicing free throws
6. You get winded standing for the National Anthem
5. When writers compare clean-up hitter to Ruth, they mean Ruth Bader Ginsburg
4.I nstead of giving signs, third base coach screams, "Bunt, you fat bastard!"
3. Tomorrow whole team scheduled to undergo Tommy John surgery
2. General manger used payroll trying to build a hot tub time machine
1. Your star pitcher defected to Cuba
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