The world won't change its rotation speed

    "So, you ready for the Masters?"
    Eh, I guess. I'll watch some.
    Have that brief chat with a golf freak and step back for the spasm and scolding.
    This will shock such folks, but people aren't nearly as obsessed with golf and the
majors as golf folks think.
    I'm not alone in failing to watch every hole for three or four days. Perhaps 
somewhere is some subconscious obstinance in that:

    A) golf fans treat golf coverage different than other sports' coverage, to the tune of
a double standard and the greatest overcoverage of almost any event out there; B) I've had
so much Jim Nantz shoved down my throat from the NCAA Tournament and the
accompanying 3,129 Masters promos - as if people might miss it, what with CBS started 
overhyping it in January, three months before the damn thing started, and that's just not right;
C) Too many one-dimensionals who don't like other sports or their championships are
offended at those who don't bow at golf's altar; D) a spell comes over the same caustic
media that pretty much dislikes everything else yet suddenly irons shirts and has manners 
and glowing adulation for four days in Augusta.
    Those coming under C aren't alone, either.
    The most-watched Masters final round was in 1997 with 13.7 million people. That
means more than 200 million people over the age of 18 didn't watch it.
    Four times since 1997, Tiger's first golf-saving season, have more than 10 million
people watched the final round.
    There are stories about whether ratings for the Masters - which likely boost new-
age music sales, too - will challenge Super Bowl ratings.
    And the head of CBS Sports thinks it could be the most-watched TV event in
recent history. It's not a surprising statement, considering the strength of the Kool-Aid
brewed at the tournament on a slow day, let alone the addition of everything regarding
Tigerbait.
    Do you expect him to break down at Amen Corner and pray for forgiveness? Give
out his number to a skanky chick on 14? Wear an "I (heart) Elin" t-shirt?
    The first day's ratings will be big to see how he does, and people will peek in to
see where he is. And after that, it'll be people peeking in to see where he is, not breathlessly
watching and having a white-knuckle grip on the remote to keep it out of other’s hands.
    It's not as dominant an event as people think.
    Last year, Nielsen reported that 42 million people watched "all or part of the
weekend coverage." That’s sort of vague and has a little hype. Now, if 42 million different
people watched, that might be something. But that figure involves counting and estimating
through broad parameters.
    This year, Nielsen reports that 48.1 million watched "all or part of" the Duke-Butler
game. One game, one night. More than the Masters over four days. That's a little more
weighty, yes?
   Let's note that Nielsen reports the overrun past 7 p.m. on a Sunday (March 29,
2010) for the Tournament was watched by 17.9 million people.
    That's more than any final round of a Tiger Masters. The 1997 final drew 15.8
million viewers and ranks as the top-rated Masters' final round.
    Last year's NCAA Tournament championship game preview show drew 12.1
million viewers, and the game 17.6, all more than any Tiger Masters' final. The lowest rated
NCAA title game of the last decade (17.1 million, 2004, UConn vs. Georgia Tech).
has outdrawn any Tiger Masters' final round.
    And overrated doesn't mean something or somebody still isn't good or big, it just
means overrated or overhyped. To repeat: overrated doesn't erase good or big.
    We get hammered with more promos for the Masters than any other sporting
event - even, I daresay, the Super Bowl - and it's the same piano-heavy stuff and the exact
same "A tradition ..." Can't even type it anymore.
    Plus, the whole mentality of Augusta can test the patience of the open-minded and
of non-50-year-old-white-men-with-some-money.
    All I can tell you is that this will play out like, well, a golf tournament. There will be
drama, and odds are probably against Tiger being part of it, not that every breathless post-
tournament review will admit it.
    Tiger's overwatched first tee shot? Like thousands before. He'll not start the wave.
He'll not remind himself that he's "da man" nor will he loudly encourage said tee shot to "get
inna hole!".
    Can the drama be outstanding? No question. Just as it can be for every other
sport on the planet.
    Will I be near a TV if there's a storyline on Sunday? Certainly. Just as I turned to
the women's NCAA semifinal Sunday night when Baylor started making UConn sweat by pulling to
within two possessions in the second half (remember, I said "open-minded").
    Am I obsessing over Tiger? Not in the least. He is who he is (the greatest golfer
ever), he did what he did (screw up on a level we never saw coming), he had the worst
monologue apology in history (if people didn’t lose jobs, it’s a miracle) and followed it up with
a much more intelligent 5-minute chat with some media folks where he came off like less of
a jackass. Ditto his Monday press conference in Augusta.
    (And good God, what do people expect him to say? This was never going to turn
into the Penthouse Forum event so many apparently expected).
    Will there be big ratings? Obviously. It’s a huge story, massive storyline, except for
those who would rail on another athlete are quite apologetic for Tiger: perhaps a sport’s greatest
competitor becomes a sponsor’s nightmare, proving to not be be the person he was
marketed as, and doing so in remarkable fashion, is back on his sport’s grandest stage.
    And there is a large ignorant faction just praying for him to suck or have some meltdown.
    But it’s not like he’s going to, well, not be Tiger. He’ll wear red on Sunday, if he'sthere. He won’t break out into song, nor joke with the crowd, nor play left-handed. The course won’t have a windmill or talking clown for him to play through.
    It’s still golf, and at some point, why, he may not even be in the running. It’s happened before.
    At 1:42 p.m., there will be cars on the road. Commerce will be transacted. Other television channels and networks will be watched. Daytime baseball games will not be interrupted.
    I haven't genuflected in the direction of a sports person in years, at least not since
adulthood. I would, however, at least make the sign of the cross in front of Hinkle Fieldhouse.
    So this week won't be any different. Tiger's in the Masters, he's probably going to be good, and we have to wait and see who's going to matter on Sunday.
    When Macon's Russell Henley tees off on a Thursday in Augusta, you'll definitely have more of my attention. Until then, those obsessed with golf should stop yelling at people who aren't.
    There are substantially more of us.