Rating the Falcons isn't easy, or clear

    How good are these Atlanta Falcons?
    Good, not great. Impressive, not dazzling. Overrated, underappreciated.
    The Falcons are perhaps a 9-5 team with a 12-2 record.
    Why?

Cam+integrity=Heisman?

    The great debate is over.
    OK, no it's not.
    To vote for Cam or not to vote for Cam for the Heisman, that's the question.
    Here's the first line from the Heisman Trust's mission statement, and it's causing a ruckus:
    "The Heisman Memorial Trophy annually recognizes the outstanding college football player whose performance best exhibits the pursuit of excellence with integrity. Winners epitomize great ability combined with diligence, perseverance, and hard work. The Heisman Trophy Trust ensures the continuation and integrity of this award."

Cam's quiet, and UGA still can't cover anybody

    Let us give a high five that Camgate is having a quiet week so far.
    We're in the third day since Auburn and Cam beat Georgia, and it's been news-free. Somebody named Newton had a hand out, and Cam is at Auburn, which is 11-0 because in part defensive coordinators - and many defensive players - are a bit slow.
    That's not to say the UGA-Auburn game didn't leave a postgame residue that had nothing to do with Newton.

Coulda, woulda, shoulda

    A lazy throw and bad read on the game's first play.
    A nice throw off a receiver's hands and into those of a defender.
    Nobody touching the athletic quarterback running off tackle for 51 yards after almost all of his previous runs had been off the tackle.
    A throw into almost triple coverage without looking anywhere else in overtime.
    Having a fumble begging to be recovered by one team, which botched it three times and didn't cover it.
    Not covering a wheel route and allowing a back to get embarrassingly open for a touchdown.
    An interception slips right through a defender's hands.
    Receivers yet again running open, like they had fatal body odor issues.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, and Georgia will win

            The decision is tough.

            Back Burner? Never been. Good rep.

            Natalia's? Been once. Good rep.

            Downtown Grill? Been several times, plate-lickin' good.

            Taki? Never been. Good rep.

            The dining choice debate is because of this: I think Georgia can beat Florida by two touchdowns, maybe more, and it wouldn't surprise me in the least.

            That inspired a Georgia fan to offer this: "If Georgia beats Florida by two touchdowns, I'll buy you dinner anywhere in Macon."

Let us bow down to Les Miles

    Les Miles is a god, and yes, I want The Mad Hatter's Powerball, MegaMillions, Fantasy Five, Win For Life, whatever, I want his lottery numbers.
    Drunk intramural frat teams often seem more coherent than LSU, and little is better evidence than Saturday's loss-win against Tennessee.
    A Miles press conference is worth 10,000 words, so watch this to figure out what happened.
    Sadly, it's a fairly accurate depiction, and why LSU is the team to watch every Saturday. "24" and "Lost" are Bugs Bunny cartoons compared to "Kickin it with the Cajuns" each weekend.
    Miles is the most-criticized winner of 79 percent of his games in history, and certainly the most lampooned. But note: 79 percent. Something proper is happening, regardless the headache-inducing rout.

So this is what an open offense looks like

(Updated Sunday night)
   Yessirreee, six pass attempts is really opening up the offense.
    That's what Georgia's Aaron Murray has at halftime. Six passes, four completions, 67 yards. And Georgia has all of 135 total yards.
    The Bulldogs are more than quadrupling the Hogs on the ground 68-12 at the half, but Ryan Mallett is 13 of 17 for 232 yards.

USCE-UGA loser not out of it

(Updated Sunday, 1:16 p.m.)

            Every year, there's the talk about whoever loses the Georgia-South Carolina game is almost doomed to a disappointing season.

            Considering South Carolina's history and its record in this series, well, yeah. USCE entered Saturday 535-536-44 all-time, and down 46-14-2 in this matchup, in 116 seasons.

            But with Florida en route to becoming a surprising disappointment, the door looks to be wide open in the SEC East.

Not just yet for Boise State

Sorry, Boise State.

It’s nothing personable, believe me. You won’t find juvenile territorial or cultural shots coming from this spot.

I have nothing against the blue field. Frankly, I like that somebody is a little different, and a blue field is definitely different.

Sort of matches opponents’ moods when they leave there, yes? Paint their locker rooms green and you’d have a nice “sad and jealous” thing going.

Hell freezing over: praise for Tebow in Georgia

    I'm getting worried.
    A die-hard Georgia fan was actually complimenting Tim Tebow the other day.
    Thankfully, sitting down when such shockers are expressed is better than falling down.
    Tebow was fairly sharp in his NFL debut, albeit in second-half preseason action against backups.
    Of course, he's very much the backup, so the field was even.

Yup, Gators are No. 1 again

    Football is upon us, so arguments and disagreements are few and redundant analysis is almost non-existent.
    Ahem.
    So then we have CBSSports.com's little summer project: Super schools.
    It ranked its top five colleges based on football and basketball success.
    To the dismay of those in these parts, the winner is Florida. It's hard to argue, considering the Gators have more football and basketball national titles in the last decade than some BCS conferences.

May Charles Barkley live to be 112

    God bless Charles Barkley, long may he rant.
    And so he did recently to CNBC during a golf tournament, mostly on LeBron's day as an attention-seeking ESPN program director.
    "He handled it horribly. That one hour special, that was silly. No. 1, I think he should have told the Cavaliers in advance.
    "But the ESPN thing was just silly."
    On the 10 million peeps who watched "The Decision":

New No. 2 NBA fave team: whoever's playing Miami

    It's been nearly a week since "The Decision" broadcast on TSPN - The Stalking Programming Network - and we know this:
    A) Fans tend to be dingbats.
    People celebrating in the streets of Miami like coke was just legalized? Or - OK , that was a cheap shot - like models became approachable and remotely intelligent? Or - OK, that was a deserved shot - something actually happened? And people in Northeast Ohio crying?
    B) LeBron isn't quite who we thought he was. Turns out he's pretty much like every other stereotypical pro athlete. Now, he's very easy to root against, and now, it's easy to pull for failure for Miami rather than just a lack of success, and there's a difference.
    C) ESPN remains embarrassing and often laughable.   
    LeBron and Co. were the program directors for an hour. Who did what interview when, sponsorship, location. And an hour of Stuart Scott. Ouch.
   What a bunch of sellouts.

Let's get this thing over with

Dear Bron, D Dub, Bosh,
    PICK A FRIGGIN TEAM. JUST PICK ONE. ENOUGH WITH THE ASSKISSING MEETINGS, AND PICK ONE.
    Ahem. OK.
    But oh my God. What more do they need to feed the ego?
    A) You're rich, and going to get richer;
    B) Grown men are lying about the plans that'll be in effect for their team as soon as you sign.
    C) You're rich, and going to get richer.
    D) There will be women available wherever, as they are now.
    E) There will be plenty of groupies, male and female, coddling you and loving you.
    F) You're wanted, OK, really wanted. You want a hug.

Sometimes, being No. 1 sucks

    The dingbats have been stirred.
    Forbes Magazine - caters to people with money and other non-Republicans - has its "most hated man in sports" survey out, and Mike Vick is on top again.
    It fits. We've seen him tell Atlanta fans he's No. 1 before.

Talk about Reggie Bush, need a shower

    Reggie Bush feels a sense of loss. Like a death.
    The NCAA's hammer on his old school is "the closest thing to death without dying," he told reporters in Louisiana.
    Yes, Reggie feels the Trojans' pain. That’s nice, coming from a (alleged) cheater and (alleged) liar and part of a cheating, lying family (allegedly). Here's hoping the Saints let him go so they can cleanse themselves a little bit, of the stench and of a fat contract.
    And if his parents have jobs, here's hoping they get fired. Can an employer trust them? Make sure to pat them down on the way out the door.

Hook 'em Horns, Boomer Sooner, and gig 'em Aggies

    Your's truly has written twice about the stupidity of the expansion, and only Sunday hoped Texas would man up.
    The Horns did.
    So here's a link to the first "expansion is bad"   column and to the second "really, expansion is very bad" column.
    Add Texas, Oklahoma and A&M to the teams you can root for, since their administrations proved to not be completel greedy - at least in this situation - dirtbags.

A debut that actually almost lived up to the hype

    I was hoping the Pirates could come through.
    I was hoping Steven Strasburg's fastball would be a little flat.
    I was hoping that after the typical frothing at the mouth about something, our national media folks - hellloooo, ESPN - would be bopped in the head a little bit.
    And then little Stevie goes out and strikes out 14 for Washington in front of - and these next few words aren't uttered much in the Capital - a capacity crowd in D.C.
    Now, we get more frothing, clearing out Cy Young's locker in Cooperstown and printing Washington playoff T-shirts can caps and how in about 12 months, the number of male babies named Steven will have increased exponentially in the Washington area.
    Ug.

Perfection rules

    It's been a quality week.
    Certainly many others were gratified to know that we live among examples of perfection as well as compassion when umpire Jim Joyce blew the call and perfect game Wednesday night.
    It's was as if all the gutless yet perfect posters at the bottom of stories online had a meeting.
    People, the guy made a mistake, in public, recorded for history. And he admitted it. Didn't make it on purpose, didn't hide, didn't take a day off. Came back the next day behind the friggin' plate where his work would be judged on almost every pitch.
    What's your level of perfection under such - ehhh, yeah, all of our screwups tend to come away from that spotlight, nowhere near a collection of drunken fools who throw stuff on the field and whine about everything.
    Get a grip.

Super Bowl in NY = the Oscars in Tacoma: out of place

    I have nothing against New York.
    Except the Yankees, courtesy of A) being an American not living in New York; B) growing up an hour north of Baltimore.
    Nothing against the Giants or Jets or football in the greater New York area.
    But the Super Bowl in New York/New Jersey in February?
    Actually, let's get it straight. It's in Jersey, so call it Jersey. It's a few miles/slash/half an hour from the heart of New York City. It's Jersey, as in "Jersey Shore" and "Real Idiotic Housewives from New Jersey."
    Frankly, I don't really have anything against Jersey, either. Except Newark.
    It's fairly hysterical that an event that is only partially about the event is going to be held at a winter wonderland.
    The least they can do is leave the Christmas decorations up in The City.

Please, LeBron, stay, stayyyyyy just a little bit a-longerrrr

             The debate:
            Did the LeBron James era in Cleveland end around 10:30 Thursday night?
            The guess is that the majority of those who guess on such things figure he is gone, ostensibily to Jordanville or Frazierburg.
            The Cavs were upset by Boston, and upset in less than a full series. Few of us saw that coming, even with the Celtics having a healthy group.
            LeBron, dog, stay in Cleveland. Make Cleveland yours. It's available, you can do it, and you'll be surprised: you'll like it. Don't break up this team. Don't turn Cleveland into, gulp, Atlanta.

Here lay the late Atlanta Hawks, died in the middle of a playoff game

    So, you say you'd like to coach the Hawks, huh?
    After Saturday's exhibition - and it resembled exhibition basketball more than playoff basketball - it's pretty easy to start the office pool on when things to shaking out, and it'll likely begin with Mike Woodson getting a pink slip.

At least the idiot asked permission, pre-Taser

    Tase away, game cops, tase away.
    In fact, more people ought to be tased just on the general principal that the most folks are poster children for birth control.
    A Phillies fan,  a 17 year old who called his dad for permission, ran onto the field Monday night at Philadelphia, and was chased and then Tasered.
    At least the budding upper-management candidate had manners.
    "Dad, can I run on the field?"   
    "I don't think you should, son."
    "This would be a once in a lifetime experience!"

Take a breath, let Heyward play and earn his reputation

     It was a shocking line.
    No hits, four at-bats, and two runners left on.
    Those in the locker room after Atlanta's 2-0 loss to Chicago in the Braves' third game of the season again saw that Jason Heyward only has hair on his chest, no big red S.
    And - holy Sidd Finch, Batman - Heyward's numbers have been worse by a bit than those of the last Great Braves Hope from metro Atlanta, Jeff Francoeur.

So Noah and Smith are patrons of the arts, are they?

    People, as an episode of "Seinfeld" reminded us, they're the worst.
    The updated: They're the dumbest.
    This has nothing to do with Octo-please-tie-her-tubes-and-jaws-shut-Mom, or Ron Artest, or the Parents from Hell with a TV show and eight poor kids, or American Idol stalkers, or any dingbat in public office or on a cable talk show or the sheep that obsess about them.
    Joakim Noah of the Bulls and Josh Smith of the Hawks recently chimed in with critiques of Cleveland and Milwaukee, the cities, based on their vast experience of flipping past the Travel Channel and going to parks and museums, and to concerts that didn't stretch woofers to the limit.

Draft was fun, draft coverage was mind-numbing

    Thank you, God.
    Thank you for the end of the two-month-long NFL draft.
    Now, if you can do something about the ringing of Kiper and Berman in my ears, I'd appreciate it.
    Whew.

Huuuuge news out of Athens

    Georgia has released its fall depth chart, and those thinking it important are in hour number three - as of this writing - of pondering and speculation, rejoicing or regurgitating.
    Aaron Murray gets the nod as starting quarterback for the rest of April, and May, June and July. That the race re-starts in August matters none to many.
    He'll have no more experience than he has now, and will have no more experience than Logan Gray, but both will have more experience than the No. 3, who is expected to graduate high school soon.

And you thought spring football chatter was over?

    It was interesting timing, Mark Richt’s announcement late Sunday afternoon that quarterback Zach Mettenberger was now a former Bulldog quarterback.
    Way to jumpstart the week at the water cooler, Coach.
    Clearly, Mettenberger wasn’t dumped because of what we know about his arrest in South Georgia in March for assorted underage alcohol charges.
    The word "duh" comes to mind, especially after taking a peek at the "when you feel intellectually inferior, go online for a spell and you'll feel better" message boards.
    Richt's statement noted "personal conduct policy," so obviously it had nothing to do with his arrest in March.

Payne painful reprimand of Tiger

    There is some consternation at the comments of Billy Payne toward Tiger Woods before the Toonament started.
    He scolded.
    He counseled.
    He tweaked.
    He judged.
    He cajoled.
    He verbally spanked.
    He was overly dramatic.
    Payne didn't say much that most people hadn't thought, although his was a substantially more eloquent version, as, of course, we've come to expect from The Superior Humans Who Are and Love Augusta National and the Toonament.

The world won't change its rotation speed

    "So, you ready for the Masters?"
    Eh, I guess. I'll watch some.
    Have that brief chat with a golf freak and step back for the spasm and scolding.
    This will shock such folks, but people aren't nearly as obsessed with golf and the
majors as golf folks think.
    I'm not alone in failing to watch every hole for three or four days. Perhaps 
somewhere is some subconscious obstinance in that:

A depressing day

    Black Tuesday is just a lot blacker this year.
    And we were thiiiiis close, twice, to Black Tuesday 2010 being one of the best in years, maybe decades.
    Black Tuesday is the day after the men's NCAA championship, and the start of a week of the most overcovered event on the planet and of three months of daily obsessive analysis of every remote item involving a baseball team or player.
    Welcome to the dead zone.

Does Andy Reid not like Donovan anymore?

    What did Donovan McNabb ever do to deserve this?
    All he's done is play hard, play hurt, play well, give Philadelphia everything he had, even through legendary fan dysfunctional discord.
    And now he might be headed to Oakland? Al Davis?
    That's just mean.
    It's not like McNabb is Terrell Owens, who deserves a year or five with the Raiders. Or Pacman Jones or Ann Coulter or Milton Bradley or, yeah, many people in and out of football should serve a penance with Oakland.

Final Four is fabulous

    Let us celebrate a Final Four that yet again proves TV analogies and hype - which fans buy into blindly - as off-the-mark as a Shack free throw.
    OK, we're stuck with Duke, but like the Yankees, Notre Dame, Lakers/Knicks, etc., it's a chance to watch the Dookies lose on a national scale.

In search of: Meyer's marbles

    Urban Meyer is in serious jeopardy of passing Lane Kiffin.
    Florida's head football coach went off on a sportswriter - it's heresy, I tell ya - for a remarkably innocuous comment made by a player.
    Meyer all but threatened the Orlando Sentinel's Jeremy Fowler, denigrated him, and pretty much made Kiffin look like a statesman.

NCAA, academics, the tournament, and apathetic parents

    Players in the NCAA tournament were no doubt eager to read about the discussions regarding academics, and tournament eligibility based on graduation rates.
    They’d have read about them when the debates started, but what with travel and practice, they didn’t have any time.
    Here we are in the most travel-heavy month of the college sports season – other than, well, all of college baseball – and there’s talk on one hand of expanding the tournament and talk on the other hand of basing eligibility on academics on the other.
    Man, those hands must be tired.
Graduation rates are a nice talking point, and it’s a nice thought, but it’s also little misguided.
    A degree isn’t as relevant as education, as desire, as attention spans, as integrity, as wanting to go to bed at least a wee bit more knowledgeable than when you got up.
 

Heeere's Mikey: The Debut

      Here it is, one man's non-Facebook, non-AOL, non-Myspace, non-Yahoo Messenger, non-iPhone, not-Twit entry into the world with this here, bl, nope, not saying it. Not using the B word.
      It's an onliiine colummmn. Not blog. Not logging anything. It's not a diary, or journal.
      Online column. Not everything on the friggin Net is a blog. A story is a story, a column is a column, etc. just like in the paper. Simply put "online" in front of it.